From my post a few days ago, it's pretty clear that even I don't know exactly what I want in a proposal, so I'm going to leave the details completely up to Lu. However, one part of the process that I'd love to be privy to is hearing Lu ask permission from my parents, particularly my dad.

This request is apparently so stressful that there are a number of articles written on how, when, and who to ask. In my search, I even discovered a website called The Groom Guide -- which I didn't even know existed -- that has an article discussing protocol for asking permission.

Lu was actually supposed to be asking my parents today. He was going to be in Maryland running an experiment with his advisor, and he'd planned to take a detour to my hometown. However, the experiment got delayed, and now the "May I have your daughter's hand?" conversation will have to happen over the phone.

My parents have had different reactions to Lu and I taking the next step in our relationship. My mom has been grinning like a Cheshire Cat since I mentioned marriage, but my dad was a little surprised. Shocked, actually.

My dad really likes Jeremy -- he talks to him, asks about him (by name even, not just "that guy that you've brought around a few times"), and hasn't said one critical thing about our relationship. Not that my dad's some big grump that sits in a corner grunting and complaining, but I'm the baby of the family by 18 years....No, that's not a typo. Despite the fact that I haven't lived at home since 2002, it's a little hard for him to let go.

Since that initial conversation, my father's warmed up to the idea that his baby girl is actually going to be someone else's wife.  Unlike my mom who has openly expressed her happiness and given her words of wisdom, he's been a bit more introspective. My father's the kind of guy that can talk to you about anything for hours, except his own emotions. 

I'd guess that when Lu calls my parents to ask for permission, the conversation will probably go something like this:

*phone rings*

Mom: Hello?

Lu: Hi, this is Jeremy. I was wondering if I could speak to both you and Ashley's father at the same time?

Mom (excited because she realizes what's going on): Okay, honey... just a secccoonnd! *yells in background* Buddy! Pick up the phone! Jeremy's on the phone! Hurry up!

Dad: Hello?

Lu: Hi, um hello. I was wondering -- you know, Ashley and I have been dating for a long time. Well, I guess not really a long time, just a year and a half technically; but we've been great friends for over two years, so we know each other well.... (rambles on for awhile)

Dad: *clears his throat*

Mom: *mini-squeal*

Lu: Basically, I really love your daughter. I'd like to ask her to be my wife, and I want to know if I have your blessing to proceed.

Mom (even more excited): Buddy? What do you think?

Dad: *silence*

Mom: Buddy? Come on. Jeremy's waiting.

Dad (quietly): Sure, I guess that would be okay.

Lu: Are you sure? I can wait to ask her if you're not positive. I really love her, but if it's not okay....

Mom: No! It's fine, baby. You have our blessing. When are you going to do it? Should I keep it a secret? Can I tell her sisters? Can I call your mom, or have you told her yet?...

*They may/may not discuss details. Who knows?*

Dad: You do the same.

Mom: Byeeee!

At this point, Lu will probably feel a mixture of relief and worry. A phone conversation is difficult to interpret. No body language. No facial expressions. My mom's mood will be clear, but my father's will be a bit more reserved. I know he's supportive, but it's easier to feel relief when there's excitement.

Of course, I'll find out about how it goes much later, but I just hope that whenever this conversation happens, Daddy's on his best behavior... or at least doesn't scare Lu off!