Today was our first wedding anniversary. Wow! I still can't believe that it's been a year since Lu and I said, "I do."

Since we're going to Seattle in a few weeks, we decided to have a low-key celebration: get dressed up, enjoy a nice dinner, catch a funny movie, and end the night with... well, you can figure out how married folks end their anniversary!

Instead, I'm laying on the sleeper sofa in the living room and writing a blog post. How did this happen?!

Well, Lu was feeling queasy last night, so we went to bed a little early. He didn't have an appetite this morning, so we decided to skip the gym. He felt weak after church, so he decided to take a nap. A fever, chills, a bowl of chicken noodle soup, several cups of tea, and too many hours of junk television later... we decided to call it a night on the couch. (I refuse to have a television in the bedroom. Since we're already so "cozy," we didn't see the point in moving.)

At first, I was totally selfless. My husband's sick. I nurse him back to health. I didn't even understand why he felt bad for "messing up" our plans. I love him, he needs me, and that's all that matters. The Melting Pot will be there another day.

Then after walking the dog, doing the dishes, deciding to fold laundry, writing cover letters for job applications, and checking out a few new apps for my iPhone, I hear Lu say five words that totally changed my perspective, "I'm feeling so much better."

Instead of happiness, my first instinct was frustration. Really? I spend our anniversary wearing stretch pants and folding towels for him to decide that he's feeling better? And 30 minutes after I eat leftovers?! What the heck, he never even gets sick anyway! Today, of all days, he decides to succumb to some random stomach virus, and I spend the day running around like a nursemaid. Now I'm tired, and his sickness is just over???

I didn't say any of this out loud. (See? I have learned a lot in this year of marriage!) However, I had to mentally check myself real quick: Lu and I were able to spend the entire day together. We woke up together, we showered together (well, we did), we went to church and worshipped together, and we lounged on the couch all day long.

As I imagine our future, I'm sure there'll be anniversaries where I'm pregnant and moody, where one or both of us is working late, where we'll be at a dance recital or a football game for the kids, where we'll be traveling for a conference, or when any of life's other commitments get in the way.... And then there'll be the anniversaries where only one of us is alive on this earth to remember the love that we shared.

Only God knows what's in store; but thinking about what the future will likely hold, I'm sure that I'll long for the day when I can go to bed on a sleeper sofa listening to my almost-100%-healthy Lu snore softly beside me with Maggie curled up at our feet.

This has been an amazing anniversary. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be cuddling with my husband for the rest of the night.

Lu and I are celebrating the third anniversary of our first date today at Sweetwaters Café.

It's crazy how God works in our lives. Right now, the snow is falling, the roads are slippery, and it's cold! If these had been the conditions on February 20, 2008, then Lu and I would not have had a first date. I would've canceled, stayed home, and probably done some studying or watched junk TV.

At best, Lu and I would've played schedule tag for the rest of the semester -- neither of us having any real incentive to continue the Valentine's Day joke past February. At worst, Lu would've thought I was flaky and/or lost the nerve to pursue a "sophisticated, graduate student" and not have even tried again.

Instead, we had the best first date of my life. If you'll remember, Lu also reserved "our" table the day that he proposed. And our Sweet Story (no. 21 on the café's website) continues....

Today is not only Christmas Eve, but it's also my parents' 50th anniversary.

50 years.

Then...

50 years... of marriage.

... Now

50 years... of marriage... to the same person.

In this day and age, it's tough to imagine committing to 50 years of anything.

You don't have to commit to 50 years of school (I'm on the verge of exploding after 22 years), 50 years of work (most people don't even stay with the same company for more than 5 years anymore), or even 50 years in the same house (I've personally lived in 4 states in less than 10 years).

Our generation, more than any other before us, is always looking for something newer, better, and more interesting.  We're not really taught to appreciate what we have or fix things that don't work. Upgrading is an important part of our life. Heck, just ask any technology company.

Line for iPhone release (from www.businessinsider.com)

In fact, Lu and I were watching Family Feud, and one question during the fast money section was, "What is the first thing a man trades out when he 'makes it' financially?"

(Yes, I have a secret obsession with game shows.)

The audience laughed when the contestant immediately said, "His wife."

It was a funny answer, but it wasn't funny that it turned out to be number one on the board. Ouch!

My parents have definitely been through some tough times in their 50 years. It's not easy raising four children, or influencing the lives of four grandchildren, two great-grandchildren, and two grand-dogs.

However, it's a blessing -- and an inspiration -- to know that they'd do it all again. No upgrading necessary.

All images courtesy of Martin Studio Photography and video by 3 Blind Mice Productions.

It's officially been a month -- practically to the hour -- since Lu and I made our marriage covenant. Here's a video of the ceremony:



The first month of marriage has been fun! Romantic, humbling, a bit crazy at times... but what an amazing start to our journey. We each decided to share our top 5 lessons learned. We're sure there will be many, many more to come.

Val's Top 5

5) We have more in common than we thought, but Lu is definitely a guy.

We've bonded over learning to purposely cook lumpy cream of wheat (don't stir) and debating about the "best" Jelly Belly flavor -- fun, little quirks. However, some things I was not expecting from my sophisticated, intelligent, neat husband: he laughs when he passes gas loudly, loves "man" movies (Superbad, really?), and leaves the door open while doing #1 because it would be "rude" to interrupt our conversation. Hmmm, gotta love him.

4) It's easy to slip into "newlywed 15" habits.

Skipping the gym to cuddle for an extra hour, baking cookies and cobblers to make Lu smile, eating dinner at 9 pm, and don't get me started on the tapeworm in Lu's stomach! Eating every two hours may not affect him, but I've started to watch my waistline. So far, so good.

3) You CAN blend two styles -- and two closets -- into one condo.

Our place looks GREAT! Besides the decorating and rearranging, we've scoured home stores for creative storage idea. Everything (almost) has it's own bin, drawer, under-the-bed box, or basket.

2) Going to bed angry is pointless.

When you're not married, you can argue and not talk for a few days, or maybe even just break it off all together. When you're in it for the long-haul, it's not so easy to cut off someone who shares your bed, shower, office, and last name. Communication truly is key. We laughed when our counselors warned us about the "Why can't he/she read my mind?!" problem. It's real.

1) It's amazing knowing that I really have a BFF.

Best friends forever -- one month down, an eternity to go.

Lu's Top 5

5) Celibacy is worth it.

Married sex is amazing (it's a mind, body, spirit trifecta). There's no guilt, shame, or tarnished white robes (lol). Best of all married people openly talk about it -- especially church members! Every book on marriage that we have has at least one chapter devoted to sex, and one book is all about sex completely. Communication is important, but sex is right up there. In fact it's a perfect gauge of how well you communicate.

4) Selflessness is HARD!

You won't realize just how selfish you are until you get married. Praying together helps keep us on the same accord, but it's an adjustment to realize that nothing is about me anymore. It's all about us. Simply stated "I" no longer exist in vocabulary, whereas "us" and "we" get promoted to pronoun status.

3) You will spend more time in Bed, Bath, and Beyond than you ever have in your life.

At first, it was annoying when Val dragged me into Bed Bath and Beyond. Now I find myself looking at specs on humidifiers and researching vacuum cleaners. Don't sleep on the Shark. Yeah, it's purple; but it picks up everything.

2) A happy marriage = A happy wife

I could give you a mathematical proof for this, but it's best learned through experimental observation.

1) Marriage isn't an added responsibility. It's a lifestyle change.

Everything you do, or don't do for that matter, in some way, shape, form or fashion affects your wife and home. There's no clock to punch on this one. You're on call 24-7. No better yet you work the morning, day, night, and graveyard shifts...no holidays, paid leave, or sick leave. You work HR, accounting, marketing, and maintenance. And don't even think about a raise...in fact, it's like putting "return to sender" on your paychecks. Which leads me to best thing about marriage: the benefits. Yeah, you pour out a lot of yourself; but so does she. Why be selfish when there's someone who's willing to be selfless on your behalf? Marriage is like a marathon with no real end; stop focusing on the checkpoints, and enjoy the run.