~* Ash *~
I mentioned in my last post that we had to watch "Making the Right Choice," by Pastor Jeffrey Johnson of Eastern Star Church in Indiana as part of our pre-pre-marital counseling. The DVD is a recording of a sermon that Pastor Johnson gave on Valentine's Day. We thought that this DVD would be a very "holy" message about seeking God's counsel during this time in our lives and making sure that we are spiritually ready for marriage... how sweet.
WRONG!
This DVD was about sex: great sex, lots of sex, fun sex -- as long as it's sex within the context of marriage. We all know that the Bible says that fornication and adultery are bad, but we rarely talk about the good sex in the Bible. In Proverbs 5: 18-23, King Solomon speaks to his son about fidelity and warns him against becoming involved in an adulterous relationship. King Solomon's remedy to staying faithful to one woman is to pick someone that you can have extremely satisfying sex with 'til death do you part.
While Pastor Johnson certainly highlights that love is a necessary part of a healthy marriage and cautions against the problems of pre/extra-marital sex, he focuses primarily on nurturing the sexual part of marital intimacy.
To put it simply, having sex with the right person is a good thing... a very good thing. Conversely, having sex with the wrong person leads to all kinds of problems. Pastor Johnson has also published The Song of Solomon: Love, Sex, and Relationships. I haven't read the book, but I'm assuming that it elaborates on his message in the sermon.
Personally, I really liked the sermon. People often talk about sex and love in either/or terms. Either you have great sex or a great relationship. It's the whole bad boy vs. nice guy comparison. Women are drawn to the bad boy for sex, even though he treats them horribly in all other ways. However, the nice guy gets stuck in the role of the friend. To put it into the context of marital stereotypes, men cheat on the loving but prude housewife with the curvy, tempting seductress.
It's important to have both in a marriage, and I'm glad that our counselors recognize this. With that being said, discussing this with them will be quite interesting....
WRONG!
This DVD was about sex: great sex, lots of sex, fun sex -- as long as it's sex within the context of marriage. We all know that the Bible says that fornication and adultery are bad, but we rarely talk about the good sex in the Bible. In Proverbs 5: 18-23, King Solomon speaks to his son about fidelity and warns him against becoming involved in an adulterous relationship. King Solomon's remedy to staying faithful to one woman is to pick someone that you can have extremely satisfying sex with 'til death do you part.
While Pastor Johnson certainly highlights that love is a necessary part of a healthy marriage and cautions against the problems of pre/extra-marital sex, he focuses primarily on nurturing the sexual part of marital intimacy.
To put it simply, having sex with the right person is a good thing... a very good thing. Conversely, having sex with the wrong person leads to all kinds of problems. Pastor Johnson has also published The Song of Solomon: Love, Sex, and Relationships. I haven't read the book, but I'm assuming that it elaborates on his message in the sermon.
Personally, I really liked the sermon. People often talk about sex and love in either/or terms. Either you have great sex or a great relationship. It's the whole bad boy vs. nice guy comparison. Women are drawn to the bad boy for sex, even though he treats them horribly in all other ways. However, the nice guy gets stuck in the role of the friend. To put it into the context of marital stereotypes, men cheat on the loving but prude housewife with the curvy, tempting seductress.
It's important to have both in a marriage, and I'm glad that our counselors recognize this. With that being said, discussing this with them will be quite interesting....
