Lu and I are in a stage of our marriage that my graduate advisor refers to as "the lean years." Dr. V seems to remember this time of his life with fondness -- a mix of research, writing, love, marriage, and childless freedom.

In practical terms, Lu and I are tired, broke grad students with bright -- albeit uncertain -- futures.

With that said, during one conversation with Dr. V, he highlighted two things Lu and I have now that will soon fade: time and energy. I'd like to add a third resource to that list -- research grants.

Between these three benefits of the lean years. Lu and I have defined a new term: the VaConference. (As a budding scholar, I am now free to make up words that even google hasn't seen before.)

Hiking near Deep Creek

1) Mini-Moon at Deep Creek Lake, MD (October 2010): The day after the wedding, Lu and I loaded up the car with gifts and leftover wedding paraphernalia and headed to an amazing bed and breakfast on Deep Creek Lake in Maryland. Since we were both sick, this was the perfect way to relax and rejuvenate with reading, hiking, sleeping, etc. Then we checked out Frank Lloyd Wright's Fallingwater home and stayed at a ski resort in Pennsylvania before finishing our drive back to Michigan.

2) Official Honeymoon in Costa Rica (February 2011): During Spring Break, Lu and I spent a week exploring Costa Rica. We had an amazing time checking out the beaches, the rainforest, and some city life. Lu tried his hand at boogie boarding, while I lounged and read my Kindle. We visited hot springs, hiked on hanging bridges, and toured a coffee plantation. We slept in, caught up on Grey's Anatomy, ate tons of delicious food, and enjoyed our three magnificent views: the Pacific Ocean in Manuel Antonio, the Arenal Volcano in La Fortuna, and the city of San José from Santa Barbara de Heredia.

"The Bean" in Millenium Park

3) VaConference in Chicago (April 2011): I presented at a conference in Chicago, and Lu brought some homework to do in our hotel room. Although we were only four hours away from school, it was an entirely new world of restaurants, parks, and shopping. We were also able to catch up with friends and family in the area.

4) VaConference in Hawaii (May 2011): I presented at a conference in Hawaii, and Lu brought some work from the lab to do at a Starbucks on the beach -- same general theme as the first conference. However, since this was our first time to Hawaii, we scheduled in a tour of the island, spent the evenings on the beach, and ended our trip with a conference-sponsored luau (told you the VaConference thing wasn't our idea).

Wearing Lu's World Haptics Conference bag

5) VaConference in Istanbul (June 2011): This time, it's Lu's turn to present at a conference. I am currently in the lobby of the Harbiye Military Museum writing this post, while Lu is upstairs listening to presentations. Yesterday, we had lunch with his advisor and their collaborators, then we chatted with a newly-tenured professor and his wife at the welcome reception in the evening. We're going on a cruise of the Bosphorous Strait (also conference-sponsored) tonight, we're taking a cooking class tomorrow, we're touring the Old City on Saturday, and we have a long layover in Amsterdam on the way home.


Sure, Lu and I could be putting this money in savings, but when will we have the time or opportunity to travel like this again? By "travel like this," I'm thinking in terms of the price we're spending (pretty much half the price of a typical trip), the activities we're doing (not all of them are exactly kid-friendly), and the toll it's taking on our bodies (flying in on Sunday and going to work on Monday with jet-lag).

We've also been extremely responsible with our limited funds.  Lu and I planned a cost-effective wedding, and then we combined our bank accounts, updated our life insurance policies, and opened Roth IRAs.  We also built up an emergency fund, which we are currently replenishing because we dipped into it after both of our cars died last month. On a daily basis, we bring our lunches from home, shop the clearance racks, and have a frequent buyer card for every coffee shop in our local area. We're nowhere near the poorhouse; but if we end up there, it's going to be because we traveled the world -- not because we purchased new shoes.

We really want to live our life to the fullest before we have to deal with the responsibility of real jobs, not to mention children. This isn't to say that you can't travel with a career or kids, but the logistics are different and the considerations aren't the same as we have now. Quite frankly, our biggest concern is usually where we should go next and how soon can we get there!

As I look forward to tonight's cruise, I have to admit that Dr. V is right (as usual): the lean years aren't so bad after all.

First off, I must apologize for leaving you high and dry these last few months. In fact, I actually have several new posts drafted. However, since I never told you guys about our honeymoon, I didn’t want to just skip to new topics. (Yes, I’m semi-OCD like that.) Then life happened in a big way, and I just got totally off track.

I was inspired to write again when I ran into a friend from church at a conference (she and her husband are such an inspiring couple with two gorgeous and intelligent children). I hadn’t seen her in awhile, and she was asking me about life and marriage. I told her that Lu and I were doing great, and her response was, “Good for you guys! It’s just a walk in the park, huh?”

I immediately and emphatically said, “NO! Not at all.”

After seeing the shocked look on her face, I filled her in on the last few months:

• February: Our honeymoon in Costa Rica was amazing! Instead of going into details, here’s a link to the pics:  http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.565793333817.2068958.35600002&l=7a3cd2bd77

• March: I used this month to complete data collection for my dissertation. I spent dozens of hours interviewing local officials… which was a lot of fun. I also presented at a conference in Chicago. Lu came along, and we had a blast. On a more personal note, we continued to have our monthly game nights with board games and Kinect. We’ve had 50+ people at our most recent parties, so we decided that they were definitely worth continuing.

• April: The month of rejections. April was a crazy-hard month for me, and by default, us as a couple. The short version is that I didn’t have guaranteed funding for the summer or next year, so I applied for fellowships, internships, teaching positions, and research positions. I got rejected from them all. Every. Single. Thing. I was literally getting bad news each day, which was totally different for me. My entire life, I’ve received awards and recognition for being the “best” this and the “top” that. With less than a year of school left, it was like I just fell off the map. On top of the emotional turmoil, there were also the logistical concerns -- mortgage, groceries, utilities, etc. The one thing that I received was a $3500 research grant. Definitely an honor, but I can’t eat with research money!

• Early-May: On top of my joblessness, Lu and I had BOTH of our cars break down – in the same week. His transmission blew; and the day we sold his (for parts), my car started overheating. The repairs on both cars would’ve been over $4000, so we decided to put that money and the money from the sales toward a down payment on a new – to us – car. The problem was that since both of us were on fellowships without traditional paychecks, we weren’t sure if we’d get financed.

RIP: SHonda and Miss Priss II

• Late-May: This is when everything started to turn around. With our great credit scores (woo-hoo) and bargaining skills, we were able to get a 2009 Saturn Vue XR that’s certified through September 2014 for $4000 below the blue book price. A few days later, I was offered an amazing job. Then less than a week after that, I was offered another, even better, position doing exactly what I want to do for my career… and it paid nearly 50% more than the first offer. We also started doing happy hours with our friends who are around for the summer – nothing beats a $1 burger or the best sangria I’ve ever had.

•  June: I’ve been working for a few weeks, and I truly enjoy it. My interviews are transcribed, and I’ve started analysis. I’ve also officially begun submitting dissertation chapters for review. The end is in sight!! In addition, we’re doing a lot of travelling. Last week, Lu and I went to Hawaii for a conference that I had. I’m totally going to do my best to write a real post about that. If not, I’ll at least provide a link to pictures. I have to do this soon because we’ll be going to Istanbul in a few weeks for one of Lu’s conferences. :-)

With all of that said, marriage has most definitely not been a walk in the park. It’s more like a series of long hikes. You have to prepare for them physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. You have to have the right equipment and the right attitude. Once you start, there will be some easy trails, as well as some dangerous cliffs. There will be times when you wonder, “Why the heck did I do this?” or “I’m not sure if I’m going to make it.” But you realize that there’s no turning back; and in fact, during times of rest, you can look around and appreciate just how far you’ve come. Most importantly, the breath-taking view from the summit is almost as awesome as the feeling of accomplishment that you have knowing that God pulled you through… just as He will when you take on the next mountain.

(P.S. - I hope to at least write once a week from now on.... I hope.)

Yesterday, I unpacked my suitcase for the first time since mid-February. I have no excuse for this. Sure, there was the honeymoon, then a weekend trip to Notre Dame a few weeks after I got back, and a conference in Chicago a few days after my return from South Bend. However, taking things out of a carry on bag is not a huge task.

My problem is that unpacking has always been a metaphorical experience to me. It means that I'm settling back into my "real" life. The vacation is over, the excitement is done, and my suitcase is shoved back into the top of the closet. Not that I don't love my life, but is there really a choice when it comes to mundane reality vs. fun vacation?

In fact, it doesn't even have to be a fun vacation. My unpacking problem started in college after my first Thanksgiving break. I couldn't bring myself to put away all of the clothing that I took home. Each outfit held a memory that I wasn't ready to let go of at that point.... So the clothes stayed in the suitcase through finals. Then it was Christmas. Then there was Spring Break. Then there was Easter. Then there was summer.

From Karyn Bryant's great poem, "Ode to My Vacation Suitcase"

Yes, I know it's sad to say that I pretty much lived at least partially out of suitcase for an entire semester in college. However, an open suitcase -- even if the clothes changed from sweaters to swimsuits -- reminded me of the upcoming break in my every day life. It reminded me of my mother's home cooking, listening to my father's jokes and stories (for the 100th time in 18 years), spending quality time with my sisters, taking my niece and nephew out for a day at the park, and meeting up with my friends.

I guess that feeling has stuck with me. From Costa Rica to conferences, a whole lot of things seem more interesting than sitting in Ann Arbor working on my dissertation and applying for funding for next year.

The good news is that now that I am officially -- physically and mentally -- back to reality, I can actually start blogging again regularly (i.e. more than once a month)! Get ready to hear about the honeymoon, as well as the various ups and downs of the last month-ish. So long suitcase, hello productivity.

Probably not the title you'd expect for my first post-honeymoon blog, huh?

Before I go into the amazing time that Lu and I had exploring Costa Rica's beaches, rain forest, and coffee plantations, I just have to vent a little about people who say things like:

1) "Spring Break? Is that why there are fewer undergrads around? I don't even pay attention to stuff like that anymore!"

2) "Don't shake my hand. I'm still recovering from the flu. I should probably be in bed right now!"

3) "Man, I've only gotten 4 hours of sleep this week. I've been studying/working/writing/in the lab the whole time."

4) "Professor/Boss, I don't mean to interrupt, but you're wrong because..."

5)  "I rarely eat breakfast, and I don't take lunch breaks. If I eat at all, it's at my desk."

I'll admit. At some point or another, I've probably made comments like these. There are still times when I skip lunch, don't get my full 8 hours of sleep, pointedly question my advisors, take work with me on "vacations," and just generally don't operate at 100%.

The difference is that these are not the norm for me, and I do not wear them as my badge of honor. I still try to respect my body and other people whenever I can. Let's look at these comments again in a different way:

1a) What Is Said: "Spring Break? Is that why there fewer undergrads around? I don't even pay attention to breaks anymore."
1b.) What The Speaker Means: "I piss on all of you lowly people that are not as dedicated to scholarly pursuits as me." [Sorry for the vulgarity. It just kinda fits.]
1c.) What I Hear: "I either have no life, or my life sucks so badly that I have to make a joke out of not even noticing that everyone else is about to have a great time -- even though I teach or take classes and clearly have seen the academic calendar -- to feel better about myself."

2a.)What Is Said: "Don't shake my hand. I'm still recovering from the flu. I should probably be in bed right now!"
2b.) What Is Meant: "My job is the most important thing in my life. How could I let some wimpy illness keep me away?"
2c.) What I Hear: "I'm such a narrow-minded workaholic. In fact, I'm willing to infect all of you and lower overall productivity just to get in one assignment that nobody cares about in the long-run."

3a.) What Is Said: "Man, I've only gotten 4 hours of sleep this week. I've been studying/working/writing/in the lab the whole time."
3b.) What Is Meant: "I'm important and necessary. I can't let something as silly as sleep keep me down."
3c.) What I Hear: "I'm stupid enough to deprive my body of a basic need... probably due to my own lack of planning and/or procrastination."

4a.) What Is Said: "Professor/Boss, I don't mean to interrupt, but you're wrong because..."
4b.) What Is Meant: "I'm totally qualified to do your job, and improve on areas where you're weak. Don't I have so much promise?"
4c.) What I Hear: "Look at me! Look at me! Of course I meant to interrupt because I'm not only a showoff, but I'm also rude."

5a.) What Is Said: "I don't take lunch breaks. If I eat at all, it's at my desk."
5b.) What Is Meant: "I am a loyal employee who maximizes my value."
5c.) What I Hear: "I have no friends." Or (hopefully) "I'm clocking out an hour early, SUCKAHS!!!"

My first year of grad school, I almost fell into this trap. I vividly remember a conversation where people were comparing how many hours of sleep they had the night before an important assignment. Some people said four, others countered with three, and one guy topped everyone with two hours of sleep in the computer lab. My peers looked at him with something akin to reverence.

As for me? I actually finished the assignment the previous afternoon and went to bed early. Heck, I even cooked dinner and took my dog on an extended walk. Of course, I didn't dare say this for fear of seeming inadequate or like a slacker.

But wait -- what if I was an inadequate slacker?! My anxiety was soon assuaged when I received the second highest grade on the final exam in the aforementioned class and a great GPA for the semester.

This isn't to brag or say that I'm a genius. And it certainly isn't to say that I'm always the most organized, or even punctual, person when it comes to meeting deadlines. I just realize that there's no embarrassment in actually enjoying life. Breaks are not only good for you, but they're necessary to help you regroup and refocus.

During one of my summer internships, my boss's boss -- a father of two who had been working with the company for 15 years -- was being chided for taking too many days off. Aware of the office gossip, he posted a cartoon of an elderly man wearing a tropical shirt with his head on his desk... dead. The most interesting part of the cartoon was that his secretary was still putting papers on his desk, as she said, "It's a shame Bill never got to take that vacation to Hawaii."

Basically, when you die, there will still be things in your inbox. Meaning that the world not only can go on without you, but it will go on without you. If death is forever, do you really think a week's vacation or a few sick days will be that catastrophic? Just pause, and think about that for a second.

I won't always have the time to take an entire week off. Take the wedding for example, Lu and I waited four months to have a "real" honeymoon because of our schedules. The point is that we still had one, and we looked forward to it.

I strongly believe that everyone needs a break. If not a week, then a long weekend, an overnight trip, or even a few hours to relax. The people that I look up to the most are productive in their careers and still manage to spend time with their families, have hobbies, and even volunteer. In fact, the people that I feel sorry for are the ones who don't seem to have a life outside of their jobs.

Sure, sometimes you will just have to do grunt work for hours and hours on end. However, for the most part, it's not the hours you work but how productive you are in those hours. Are you really working the whole time? Or are you staring off into space? Perhaps chit-chatting with co-workers? Reading news articles? And don't even get me started on Facebook....

Okay, my apologies for the extended vent (and to the people I've undoubtedly offended). Honeymoon post soon!!! :-)

Our honeymoon is almost here!!!!!!!!!!!

(My apologies for all of the exclamation points, but I just can't help myself.)

Lu and I approach traveling in different ways. True to our personality types, Lu gets more excited about the "vision" of a vacation -- lazing on the beach, hiking through parks, sipping fruity drinks. Meanwhile, I can't relax until there's some sort of plan in place. I'm fine with being spontaneous and flexible, but I believe that a little research up front can help you make the most of your time and money.

In fact, a few years ago, before our first big vacation, we got into a pretty heated argument about planning. We were getting organized for a trip to Mexico, and Lu wanted to help. I said something like, "Don't worry about it, babe. I've done all the work anyway. It's easier if I handle this part, too."

This totally offended Lu because, in his mind, he had helped. I pointed out that all he had done was said that he wanted to go somewhere warm with a beach, and he took the week of our vacation off from work. He said, "Exactly! So don't act like I haven't done anything."

All of the planners reading this can see how this conversation quickly went downhill!

I told him about all of the research I'd done on various countries, the best resorts, reading reviews, comparing prices, searching for flights, arranging shuttles, booking and negotiating tours, checking out health/travel/safety issues, and even buying all of our little travel-sized items. He responded that I hadn't included him in anything. I came back with examples of when he was too busy or uninterested to be bothered with the "small stuff."

Back and forth we went until he admitted that he'd never planned a big trip on his own, and he didn't know the best way to help. I conceded that I had charged full speed ahead, and I should have been more patient with him along the way.

Since then, Lu has learned how to TripAdvisor and BookIt with the best of 'em. We're more equal when it comes to choosing a destination, hotels, and planning tours. I still have to nudge him a little when it's time to make final decisions, but he has a greater input overall.

One area that's still "mine" is the details. We're staying at boutique hotels during Costa Rica's high travel season, so we made our honeymoon reservations several months ago. Since then, we've figured out details -- transportation, tours, vaccinations, packing, etc.

Over the weekend, I put all of the details in one place. More specifically, I created an itinerary with dates, times, locations, and contact information for every part of our trip. I also printed out a coupon for parking at the airport, confirmations for all of our stops, credit card receipts for everything pre-paid, copies of our passports/credit cards/IDs, and a list of backup drivers and transportation services.

I also called our credit card companies and banks to let them know that we'd be out of the country, put my rings in our safe-deposit box at the bank (don't want to risk them falling off in the ocean or jungle), taken out the appropriate amount of cash -- small bills only, and packed Maggie's bag for the kennel.

I am as ready as I can get.

Some people think this is way too much. They'd argue that I'll never need half of the stuff I have, and all of this preparation takes the "fun" out of the vacation. For me, it actually helps to put my mind at ease. After all, anything could happen.

While I can't exactly plan ahead for "anything," my motto is to expect the best but prepare for the worst. A driver might not show up on time -- or at all. We could accidentally leave our cash in a safe, or a monkey could steal our passport (true story). I'd rather spend a few hours putting a back up plan in place than wasting a few days trying to figure out what to do to fix a relatively simple situation.

Lu and I have been married four months today, and we are finally about to go on our honeymoon!

We thoroughly enjoyed our mini-moon after the wedding. It was just the rest and relaxation we needed after the big day. However, now we're ready to go exploring the best that Costa Rica has to offer.

The tricky part: fitting 8 days of clothes and toiletries into one carry-on bag each.

This will be tough, but I'm a firm believer in packing light. I don't want to waste my time or energy checking bags that can potentially get lost. In addition, we'll only be spending a few nights in each city, and I don't feel like lugging a huge suitcase around Costa Rica. Besides, whenever I have more room, I tend to throw in a lot of "just in case" items that I never wear.

My plan of attack:

1) Refill any necessary prescriptions.

2) Stock up on travel size toiletries at Target and REI.  Did you know they make insect repellent wipes? How great is that?!

3) Pack as light as possible.

In my carry on, I'll have:

• 2 pairs of capris
• 2 pairs of shorts (one nylon, one nicer)
• a skirt (I have a great one with a ton of pockets -- no need for a purse)
• 2 sundresses (one that doubles as a cover-up)
• a bunch of tanks, tees, and long-sleeved shirts
• under items and PJs (including lingerie)
• 2 swimsuits
• flip-flops 
• dressy sandals -- if they fit in the bag
• dry toiletries (i.e. medicine, deodorant, bar soap, tissues, etc.)
• small bag for day trips
• umbrella
• disposable rain poncho

In my personal item -- an oversized purse/tote, I'll pack:

• passport/ID
• one credit card 
• cash
• travel insurance info
• itinerary
• copies of all reservations (transportation, hotel, and tours)
• copy of passport, ID, and credit card
• electronics -- cell phone, camera, kindle, and respective chargers
• my quart-size bag of wet toiletries for easy airport access
• sunglasses
• mini-flashlight
• bandana
• small first aid kit
• a few snacks

4) Unpack anything that I won't need: most of the keys on my chain, debit/gym membership/blockbuster cards, my purse, jewelry, and anything on the above lists that just doesn't fit.

5) Wear layers to the airport -- jeans, tank top, t-shirt, light jacket, heavier jacket, socks, a baseball cap, and amphibious hiking sneakers (i.e. great for exploring the jungle).

I think that's it! Let me know if you think there's anything I've overlooked.

** I've added a few questions since this was originally posted. If you have more, keep 'em coming!**

I know I promised these on Monday, but two days late isn't that bad. Right?

Here are all of the marriage questions that I received -- Facebook, email, and blog:

Q: Did you fully love yourself before you were married, or is it still a work in progress?

A: GREAT question! I did fully love myself; but maybe a bit too much (lol) because sometimes it can be difficult to be selfless and open-minded when you have to share everything with someone else. It's definitely a process going from "I" to "we," but it's so worth the journey!

Q: Do you think you would have been content with your life if you never got married?

A: I think that if I never met the right person, then I would have been content. Knowing in my heart that God put Lu in my life (even if the timing, our ages, bank accounts, education, etc. weren't "right"), I would not have been content if I'd let our opportunity to spend our lives together slip away.

Q: What happened to those books you used to read before you got engaged? Have you stopped?

A: Nope! The books just get longer after you get married. :-) On top of that we were also busy with the wedding, moving in together, finishing up the semester for school, etc. We are actually reading two books at once right now -- a daily devotional and Starting Your Marriage Right. I'll post reviews when we finish those.

Q: Do you wish you'd had a longer engagement?

A: Another month or two max would've been okay, but I think a long engagement would've driven me crazy. I would have second-guessed everything, and I wouldn't have been happy with the final outcome. Besides, I think that an engagement should be a transition phase, not the end goal. Six months was a bit short. Eight months to a year would've been fun -- throw in a few extra celebrations. Eighteen months would've have been the absolute limit for me, and even now I can't imagine what I would've done if I'd three times as long to plan.

Q: Was being celibate worth it?!

A: Oh, yeah. We're so comfortable with each other, and it's a truly intimate experience. Besides, I think we're making up for lost time pretty well. ;-)

Q: Were you all able to do everything for under 15-20K?

A: The total cost for our wedding (ceremony and reception) was right at $14,500. Looking at additional costs, the rehearsal dinner was $1000, the VIP booths at the lounge where we had our after party were $500, and our honeymoon comes in at just under $5000.

However, my parents gave us some money, Lu's parents paid for the rehearsal dinner (and hosted a second reception for us), and we had family members gift us things: the cake, church, ceremony decorations, and our transportation. Also, the cash gifts we got from the wedding are covering a large chunk of our honeymoon.

In the end, Lu and I paid about $13,000 of the $21,000 total.

Q: How does your actual marriage match up to the expectations you had for it?

A: We definitely expected our marriage to be fun, so that part lived up to what we thought it'd be. We still go out, spend evenings studying in the coffee shop, cook together, laugh and goof around, etc. However, every counselor, book, married family member/friend told us that the first few years of marriage would be full of stumbling blocks, disagreements, and even doubt as we learn to adapt to each other and develop our "marriage style." Even though we knew to expect some bumps, it's still weird when they happen. It hasn't even been two months yet, and I think we've gotten much better at handling things (based on the fact that problems seem to come up less often). Although there will be more adjustments when we get jobs, move, and have kids, I definitely think we're establishing good habits now to face the real issues later.

Q: Do you "feel" married?

A: Sometimes... I think. It's weird because they way that we spend time in our marriage is generally the same way we spent it while we were dating. However, we now share our finances, I have a new last name, and people treat us as more of a unit. There's also this peace that comes with knowing that you have someone there to support you through the stages of life.

Q: Were you really ready to give up other men forever?!

A: Yes! Based on my own experiences and living vicariously through my friends, dating is confusing, frustrating, and disappointing. A good man is hard to find. Finding a good man who wants to be in a relationship is rare. Finding a good man, who wants to be in a relationship and is a perfect fit for you is like finding a needle in a haystack!

Do I still think other guys are attractive? Yes. Do I wish I could still do random things with my single friends like speed dating or trying to catch the bouquet at a wedding? Yes. Do these things match up to my desire to be with Lu? Not. Even. Close.

Saturday was Lu's birthday, and we took a trip to Canada with his parents. We went to a restaurant in Leamington, toured a few vineyards, walked along a beach on Lake Erie, and overloaded on blueberry pie.

Outside of a winery on Lake Erie

Eating blueberry pie at Klassman's

However, the highlight of our trip was our stay at the Iron Kettle Bed and Breakfast. This place is a gorgeous B&B that has only been open since September 2009. We loved the house, the décor, the rooms, and (of course) breakfast the next morning.

The Iron Kettle

After my stay at the Iron Kettle, I'm looking forward to our honeymoon even more. No, not the Costa Rica trip, but our three-day, post-wedding respite in Maryland at Lake Pointe Inn.

Although we aren't staying at Lake Pointe for long, Lu and I know that it'll be just enough time to recharge after a whirlwind wedding weekend. In addition to the couples hot stone massage that we booked, the inn has hiking trails, bikes, a fire pit, and offers a boat ride on the lake in the evening.

That is, if we have enough energy to come out of our room! Lu and I picked the "Friend Room" to stay in for our honeymoon.  By starting off our relationship and soon-to-be-marriage as friends, we really liked the name.... not to mention the double-sided fireplace, spa tub, great view, reading nook, and walk-in shower with four jets and two showerheads.

The Friend Room at Lake Pointe Inn

Now that the wedding is fast-approaching and school is starting next week, we know that the next six weeks are going to fly by. We will be more than ready to take a break from it all, but just for a few days.... Lu and I can't sit still much longer than that!


If you've never stayed in a bed and breakfast, here's what to expect:

-- an older but renovated home, usually with wood floors and tons of character. Some even have themes. Last year, for our anniversary, Lu and I stayed in a Log Cabin Suite at a bed and breakfast in Saugatuck, MI.  Admittedly a bit cheesy, but with the double-sided fireplace and ridiculously huge tub, we really felt like we were in an upscale cabin getaway.

One of the sitting rooms at the Iron Kettle

-- friendly, flexible, and informative innkeepers. No front desk or concierge here! Most innkeepers actually live in their B&B. They know the town like the back of their hand and want you to enjoy your stay. On this trip, we arrived later than we planned, and the innkeeper left the keys in a bush by the front door.

-- interesting, somewhat chatty, guests. Most bed and breakfasts cater to couples, but sometimes you'll run into traveling businessmen, performers, and families. Since a B&B is meant to feel like "home," breakfast is often shared around a dining table or in a breakfast nook with other guests.

-- a comfortable bed and great food.  Since the Iron Kettle was recently renovated, our mattresses had memory foam toppers and felt amazing after a long day. For breakfast the next morning, we had coffee, tea, orange juice, fruit, banana bread, green eggs and ham (i.e. eggs scrambled with spinach and real Canadian bacon), and breakfast potatoes. At other B&Bs, I've had breakfast quiche and specialty pancakes.  Many B&Bs also have some snacks available throughout the day, as well as beverages including bottled water, soda, and wine.

Lu's mom in the Walking Stick room, refreshed after a good night's rest.

-- great rates. Although the prices of B&Bs can vary, you can expect to typically pay anywhere from $75-$200 depending on the location, season, and type of room. Most B&Bs are less expensive than area hotels, and with the personalized experience, privacy, and great food -- they are 100% worth it.

After much debate about various honeymoon options, Lu and I have finally decided to go to... Costa Rica!!

When we got down to the basics about what appealed to us about each of our previous options, we came up with this list:

-- Mediterranean Cruise: Opportunity to explore several areas and have luxurious accommodations
-- Moroccan Tour: Exotic and Adventurous
-- Caribbean All-Inclusive: Budget-Friendly and Convenient

So we started from scratch and looked around the world for a place that would give us adventure, romance, luxury, and several different experiences at an affordable price.


Costa Rica fits all of our criteria and even more! During our 8-day honeymoon, we'll be hiking through the rain forest, taking a sunset sail on the Pacific Ocean, trying our hand at surfing on a private beach, rappelling down waterfalls, ziplining through the jungle, sipping wine and watching lava flow from an active volcano -- from the comfort of our personal bungalow's jacuzzi (that also has an outdoor shower), and picking and packaging our own coffee from a plantation that practices organic, sustainable farming.

Best of all, the pricetag for these experiences: under $4,000.

Feel free to check out our detailed itinerary here: http://www.travelersjoy.com/members/ashleyandjeremy2010/

Wedding porn is not only a total waste of money, but it can also involve wasting something even more precious: time.

I'm interrupting my "Journey to the Dress" series because Lu and I need some serious honeymoon help. We've narrowed our choices down to three extremely different experiences, but we're having a tough time committing to one.

Lu and I love to travel, and we really want to do something special for our honeymoon that's both romantic and memorable. Since we're not going on our "official" honeymoon until February at the earliest (our first few days of wedded bliss will be at a secluded bed and breakfast), we thought we'd have time to choose. But, of course, all three destinations are having amazing specials right now for early 2011 booking!

Here are the pros and cons of each. You can read them before you vote, or you can just participate in the poll. Either way, we'd really appreciate your votes, comments, or both!

 Where Should We Go??

• 
  
  Mediterranean Cruise ($11,500)


• 
  
  Moroccan Tour ($6,000)


• 
  
  Carribbean All-Inclusive ($2,000-5,000)

view results
Free vote poll

Honeymoon 1: Luxury All-Inclusive Cruise from Athens, Greece to Venice, Italy ($11,500)

Pros:
-- This is literally the "dream" honeymoon Lu and I talked about a few years ago, and we'd be visiting some of the top spots in the Mediterranean.
-- All of our luxury accommodations would be paid for up front from flights, to our suite with personal veranda on the cruise, to food and drinks, to shore excursions (not just typical tours, but wine tasting, cooking classes, hiking trips, etc.), and all surcharges at half the regular price.
-- Neither of us has been to Europe.
-- We'd get the perfect combination of relaxation, adventure, and Lu would get to add some gorgeous pictures to his portfolio.

Cons:
-- Even though we're getting a half-price special, it's still an $11,000 honeymoon (about $5,500 each).
-- We'd have to wait until next May to take the cruise.
-- Lu's going to Istanbul, Turkey next June for a conference. I could join him over there, and since his flight and hotel will be paid for, we'd only have to worry about my travel. Once we're in Turkey, it's really easy and affordable to hop over to Greece and Italy. It won't be an all-inclusive luxury cruise, but it'd still be gorgeous.



Bottom Line: Between buying a home, starting jobs, and having kids, this is truly a once-in-a-lifetime (or at least once in the next 40 years) vacation for us. We've saved enough to pay for the cruise up front and still be debt-free, but we'd totally exhaust our savings. Do we want to start our life together with no nest egg?

Honeymoon #2: Personal Tour of Morocco ($6,000)

Pros:
-- Morocco's Imperial Cities (Fez, Meknes, Marrakesh, and Rabat -- plus a stop in Casablanca) have a little bit of everything: architecture, history, markets, beaches, and great city life.
-- The country's exotic and would be totally different from anything we've experienced.
-- We'd have a local tour guide taking us to areas off the beaten path for regular tourists.
-- The price for flights is reasonable, and the cost of living is a lot less. We'd get to stay in gorgeous hotels, riads, and kasbahs for a fraction of what we'd pay in the US.

Cons:
-- It's not all-inclusive, and it's going to take a lot more planning than the other trips.
-- Our tour company is only a few years old. They're knowledgeable and professional, but not extremely established.
-- My French isn't what it used to be, so there will be somewhat of a language barrier.
-- Even though the experience is amazing and the hotels are beautiful, we'll spend tons of time riding from city to city in a 4x4 with our tour guide -- not exactly my idea of romance.


Bottom Line: We definitely want to visit Morocco at some point. It's exciting and affordable, but for our honeymoon? We're not so sure.

Honeymoon #3: All-Inclusive Caribbean Resort ($2000-5000)

Pros:
-- We'd get to relax on beautiful Caribbean beaches with white sand and clear blue water.
-- Many companies have adults-only, all-inclusive packages. Sandals resorts even include scuba diving and golf.
-- Most resorts have great reputations and tons of experience with honeymooners.
-- If we stick to the lower end of our budget (which is definitely doable), then we can save more than enough money to do the European country-hopping I wrote about above.

Cons:
-- We've already been to the Caribbean twice.
-- If we go to a different country, we want to see and do more than visit an Americanized resort.
-- This won't be a unique experience. Even though we'd be taking a "honeymoon style" vacation, there are tons of resorts that cater to families that we could visit later down the road.



Bottom Line: You can't beat the luxury you get for the price in the Caribbean, but many places have the same style. We could try an island that's a little more distinctive -- maybe Antigua, St. Lucia, or Costa Rica. We can also purchase off-resort excursions. While we'd definitely keep some padding in our bank account, we don't want our honeymoon to feel like a vacation that we've already taken.