~* Ash *~
I know all of you are waiting with bated breath for Lu's post on the details of how he planned and executed the proposal. In the meantime, I'll give you an update on what we've done since our engagement on Wednesday.
After the kissing, cuddling, and telling all of our friends and family through phone, email, video, and pictures -- gotta love technology -- we sat down and created some "Wedding Planning Ground Rules." The purpose of these rules is to avoid at least some of the stress typically associated with wedding planning.
We know that everyone will have their own ideas of when, where, and what we should do for our wedding. Oftentimes, since you can't exactly bite off Aunt Well-Meaning-But-Bossy's head, the future bride and groom will lash out at each other. We don't want that to happen, so these are the rules that we've created to hopefully avoid that situation:
1) Our marriage always has priority over our wedding.
2) Decisions will be based on:
a. Appeal -- We want our wedding to be "us," so a lot of our initial ideas will be based on how something looks and feels. Does it fit our personalities? Does it work with our theme?
b. Cost -- Although we'll have tons of ideas, we are graduate students and have financial constraints. On the other hand, we do have the time and energy to barter (or beg) and do some things ourselves.
c. Feasibility -- Some of our great ideas just aren't going to happen. We need to know when to just let it go.
3) Listen to the advice of others but make all decisions together... no matter how appealing it is or how convincing a person can be. It is our wedding, and it should be a reflection of us.
4) Let the other person fully explain all of their ideas before dismissing them, and never call an idea "stupid."
5) Have one "must-have" item each, and be flexible on other things. Adjust the budget to reflect our priorities.
6) Do not expand the guest list or "promise" people invitations without consulting each other. Both of us come from big families and have a wide social network of friends. However, weddings can easily cost anywhere from $50 - 150 (or more) for each guest by the time you factor in invitations, food, linens, centerpieces, favors, the cake, etc. Do I really want to spend an extra $75 to invite my great-uncle's niece's boyfriend?
7) Each Wednesday, have a weekly progress report to discuss: timeline, budget, guest list/RSVPs, and any other developments.
8) In addition to our Wendesday pow-wows, create a Google Docs spreadsheet to keep everything updated and organized.
9) Regularly check to make sure that neither of us is over-worked or, alternatively, feels left out.
10) If we begin to raise our voices or talk over each other, then we should take a 2-minute time out.
** Bonus ** Fridays will be our date night. No wedding talk allowed!
After creating this list, Lu and I realized that a lot of these rules should not only apply to wedding planning, but we should make them the cornerstone of our future marriage.
After the kissing, cuddling, and telling all of our friends and family through phone, email, video, and pictures -- gotta love technology -- we sat down and created some "Wedding Planning Ground Rules." The purpose of these rules is to avoid at least some of the stress typically associated with wedding planning.
We know that everyone will have their own ideas of when, where, and what we should do for our wedding. Oftentimes, since you can't exactly bite off Aunt Well-Meaning-But-Bossy's head, the future bride and groom will lash out at each other. We don't want that to happen, so these are the rules that we've created to hopefully avoid that situation:
1) Our marriage always has priority over our wedding.
2) Decisions will be based on:
a. Appeal -- We want our wedding to be "us," so a lot of our initial ideas will be based on how something looks and feels. Does it fit our personalities? Does it work with our theme?
b. Cost -- Although we'll have tons of ideas, we are graduate students and have financial constraints. On the other hand, we do have the time and energy to barter (or beg) and do some things ourselves.
c. Feasibility -- Some of our great ideas just aren't going to happen. We need to know when to just let it go.
3) Listen to the advice of others but make all decisions together... no matter how appealing it is or how convincing a person can be. It is our wedding, and it should be a reflection of us.
4) Let the other person fully explain all of their ideas before dismissing them, and never call an idea "stupid."
5) Have one "must-have" item each, and be flexible on other things. Adjust the budget to reflect our priorities.
6) Do not expand the guest list or "promise" people invitations without consulting each other. Both of us come from big families and have a wide social network of friends. However, weddings can easily cost anywhere from $50 - 150 (or more) for each guest by the time you factor in invitations, food, linens, centerpieces, favors, the cake, etc. Do I really want to spend an extra $75 to invite my great-uncle's niece's boyfriend?
7) Each Wednesday, have a weekly progress report to discuss: timeline, budget, guest list/RSVPs, and any other developments.
8) In addition to our Wendesday pow-wows, create a Google Docs spreadsheet to keep everything updated and organized.
9) Regularly check to make sure that neither of us is over-worked or, alternatively, feels left out.
10) If we begin to raise our voices or talk over each other, then we should take a 2-minute time out.
** Bonus ** Fridays will be our date night. No wedding talk allowed!
After creating this list, Lu and I realized that a lot of these rules should not only apply to wedding planning, but we should make them the cornerstone of our future marriage.
This will be a great foundation for your marriage as well, especially in the years when you expand your family to include children. Your are exactly right...your wedding/marriage is about LuValentine....everyone else has to have their own to make it about them, lol. I am still just as excited, lol. I have watched the engagement video too many times, lol. BTW what is the music playing in the background.
PS Please keep blogging....This is my excitement, lol.