~* Ash *~
Looking back at older posts, I've realized that this blog has been pretty "happy." Sure, I've shared my concerns about various parts of preparing for marriage and planning for a wedding; but overall, it's seemed like the engagement process has been one big vat of cotton candy..... And that's not the case.
This stage of my life has taken me through a wide spectrum of emotions. I've done a great deal of introspection and reflection on my past in preparation for my future. It's literally been a roller-coaster of feelings.
In short, engagement has made me bipolar.... Okay, maybe not bipolar, but at least mid-polar.
There are the extreme highs: realizing I've found my soulmate, the proposal, the excitement of family and friends, the engagement parties, the confirmation and growth that has come with pre-marital counseling, each wedding planning "victory," and daydreaming about how our life will unfold over the years to come.
On the other hand, there are the lows. Besides the few negative comments from others (i.e. "Wow. You guys are a cute couple, but marriage is so... final." and "Yeah, I guess it is 'that time.' By the way, did I tell you about my friends who got married last year, and are going through a divorce right now?") and the wedding planning meltdowns (yellow vs. white napkins, asparagus vs. green beans, red velvet vs. lemon cake, and don't get me started on picking songs), most of the struggles have been internal.
We deal with questions like: How much are you "supposed" to know going into marriage, and how much do you figure out along the way? Should I change my name... or hyphenate it... or keep it? How can we combine our two styles into one condo? Will our friends still see us as fun-loving Lu and Val, or will we become one lame, married entity? How bad is that first year really? What tests will we face during our years of marriage? How can we convince our parents that we don't want to have kids while we're in graduate school? How will we find two jobs in the same place in this economy? Is Lu ready to lead our household... am I ready to follow?
I've decided to start a new series of topics called "The Other Side" to vent about these concerns and others that come up along the way. My goal is to turn this blog into a book, and I want to remember everything that I felt during this time. Lu and I know that we'll make it through whatever internal or external challenges that we face along the way, but that doesn't mean that we're just blindly skipping along holding hands and eating ice cream... at least not all the time.
I will be on the first in line to purchase this book.
Great post! Brava! :)
I found your blog not too long after creating my own wedding blog to chronicle my journey to marital bliss. Actually, your blog came up in my search for Atrium at Treetops (which we are heavily considering for our wedding as well. ) At first I planned to just troll your posts about the venue to get a better idea of the space. But I was drawn in by your writing, and I now find myself reading your posts in order from beginning to end. I even thought to myself yesterday that I am reading your blog like a book, and I look forward to my reading time every evening where I come back to pick up on the next post.
So I hope you DO write your book based on this blog. Because if I am reading your posts almost two years after you've written them, I know there are plenty of others who are looking for the same insights.
Thank you.
Thanks, Stephanie! I'll admit that I have slacked off in updating the blog, but journaling these feelings during our engagement definitely helped to keep me sane. I'm glad you're finding the posts both helpful and entertaining... Maybe it IS time to reconsider that book. :-)