~* Ash *~
Awhile ago, I posted about how weddings are like funerals in terms of the guest list. While I tried to make the post funny and witty, Lu and I were both stressed out about how to have an intimate wedding when we could easily think of hundreds (literally) of people who are important in our lives.
We came up with three solutions that we think will help solve the problem by including everyone who wants to be there without sending us into debt or having a fire marshall end our reception for being over capacity. Yes, that has happened before.
We know that we're still going to get some backlash. However, since we'll never please everyone, we might as well please ourselves on "our" day.
Open Ceremony: The church where we're having our wedding holds 750 people, so we're going to open up the ceremony to whoever wants to come and witness us exchange wedding vows. After all, that is the most important, sacred part of the day.
Adult Only Reception: Don't get me wrong, Lu and I love kids and originally planned to invite them to the reception. However, then we took a step back and started to think practically: 1) our reception venue is formal and doesn't have the space for children to run around and play; 2) we're serving alcohol (wine-only but still alcohol), which makes the event even more kid-unfriendly; 3) the reception is in the evening and goes into the night past most children's bedtimes; 4) kids don't really care about weddings and will probably be bored; and 5) there are approximately two dozen kids in our families.
Therefore, instead of having three tables worth of restless children -- not to mention their harried parents, we decided that it makes more sense to give the parents a break for the night and have room to invite more adult guests.
Isn't he... cute?! Hmmm.
Post Wedding Brunch: Even though Lu and I are trimming the guest list, we still won't have much time to spend with guests individually at the reception. In order to have more time with people, particularly our out-of-town guests who have traveled to see us, we are going to reserve space at a restaurant for those who want to join us for brunch the day after the wedding.
We won't be going on a honeymoon right away, and most people will still be around the next morning and afternoon. It would definitely be fun to have some relaxing downtime with our guests after the wedding craziness dies down a bit.
Dear bride,
While you ideas are good, here are a few things to consider:
1. The people from the wedding will want to come to the reception, invited or not. They will get all wrapped up in the moment, and seeing people that they may know and think they can sneak in. Have someone be aware of this at your reception door so you can keep out the uninvited.
2. Have you thought about hiring a babysitter for the kids in your families? Have someone come in and watch the kids in a different room than the reception. This way they don't take up space and the parents can see them anytime they want.
3. For the brunch, beware: you and your hubby are going to be exhausted!! That Sunday you will want to sleep in and rest. If you do do a brunch, keep it as informal as possible, as many people will be heading out of town that afternoon, or will also be just as tired as you!! Make sure you have an exit strategy in case you don't want to come downstairs (such as having your parents and/or siblings cover for you). You will be surprised at how many people want to talk to you.
-You might just reserve the brunch for local people who are not invited to the reception so they don't feel excluded. You already fed your family at the wedding...they shouldn't really be expecting anything else. And it can really wear our your planning gene and budget quickly!
Happy planning!!!
Great ideas Val and Lu! Either way I am excited and I think this is a great way to scale back and not go into debt, while ensuring your wedding day is what you want it to be.
Thanks for the suggestions!!
1) The reception's at a different location than the ceremony, and we're not sending out formal invitations to people not invited to both. Hopefully this will help avoid confusion and sneaking in; but worst-case scenario, we're having a few hostesses at the door to let guests know where they're seated. We're also having a plated dinner, so no food might be a deterrent! lol
2) The reception venue has a separate room, but it's carpeted -- no food allowed. Since we've booked a large block of rooms at a nearby hotel, we're going to check about using a conference room and getting a babysitter/some pizza for the kids.
3) Good idea about the brunch! That's the latest idea, so we're still working out the kinks.... We're staying at a hotel the night of the wedding. Checkout's at 11 am, so we were thinking of just doing muffins, bagels, and juice at noon-ish. We'll be tired, but we can always go back and nap later. :-)