Thanks for your input on the honeymoon! Please feel free to keep the comments and votes coming. :-)
Back to my wedding dress lessons: There are a lot of similarities between the process of finding "the one" in a wedding gown and finding "the one" in a man.
1) Style/Type: The search typically starts with looking for certain physical qualities. Be it a ball gown, a mermaid dress, or a class a-line, every bride is looking for a certain style of dress... as well as a certain type of man. You know, the checklist qualities, "He should be this height, this build, with that type of education, and this type of job...."
Also like the dress, many women -- whether on their own or prodded by well-meaning family and friends -- will try on many dresses and interact with many men who are different. Sometimes, they end up with what they were looking for and other times, something they hadn't even considered will end up being a better option.
2) Chemistry: You have to have that gut feeling that this is it. At a certain age, most women begin to think that butterflies don't exist or that butterflies won't help them find a good man. You can have a great guy, but if the chemistry isn't there, there's no point in pursuing it. You will regret the relationship and waste your time. It's the same thing with the dress, you have to feel beautiful. I don't care if it's the right designer, the right price, and your mom has tears in her eyes -- if you don't like it, then you never will.
Granted, sometimes you'll have chemistry with a man who's no good or a dress that could be the down payment on you future home. That's why you have to look at other characteristics, such as...
3) Fit: The most basic criteria, and the one that is commonly overlooked in the beginning. If a dress doesn't fit your body or a man doesn't fit your lifestyle, then you either have to give it up or be prepared to work to make it work. You may have to spend hours in the gym (or chatting on the phone and computer), hundreds of dollars in alterations (or cross-county flights), or sacrifice something else (the cake of your dreams or living in a certain city) to make things manageable. For some, the results are worth it. For most, it's just a lot easier to find something else.
In an ideal situation, there's a compromise. One of Lu's best qualities is that he's versatile. In high school, I was a cheerleader, and I got straight As. I was a fierce competitor in both mock trial and at step team competitions. I was in the National Honor Society, cooking club, and I also dabbled a bit in theater, track, and tennis. Basically, I never really fit into a box. I was more interested in sampling a bunch of different activities than upholding one stereotype. I wasn't a jock, a nerd, a theater geek.... I was just me, and I found someone who was just as wonderfully undefinable.
Unfortunately, the dress wasn't so versatile. As beautiful as my dress is, Lu and I have decided to swing dance during our reception. We've been taking lessons, and I needed a dress that's a little shorter to show off my fancy footwork and my fun shoes. Sooo, I'll be doing a costume change and slipping into a dress like this for the reception:
Still white, still elegant, still vintage, and actually quite similar to my ceremony dress (nope, still not posting pics of that one), but so much easier to move in!
4) Comfort: After you tackle any issues dealing with fit, there's the realization that this dress or this relationship isn't just a snapshot in time. Take my dress for example, after wearing it for 5-10 minutes in the store (I didn't want to take it off), I realized that I wasn't fully exhaling. Even though it was a great fit initially, it wouldn't be completely comfortable until I lost a few pounds or an inch from my waist.
To be totally honest, my relationship with Lu had that same semi-suffocating effect in the beginning. Once we were officially together, we were always together, or video-chatting, or talking on the phone. To go from totally single to attached at the hip made me question how comfortable I was with a relationship.
The chemistry was amazing, the fit was great, but there were some adjustments that had to be made for us to work in the long-run. For Lu, we've learned how to give each other space. For my dress, I've been pushing it a bit harder in the gym!
5) Approval: Once you're totally enamored with a man (or have spent 5 minutes doing a silent, happy dance in the dressing room), you have to face reality: your family and friends. Approval is tough because you want others to be as excited as you are. Usually there's a combination of excitement, skepticism, or sometimes outright criticism that comes with the approval process. Since you never know how others are going to react, then this can be a bit daunting.
However, the first time I brought both Lu and my dress home, they were both an immediate hit.
.... And now we come to decision time. Everyone reacts to making that final commitment a bit differently. Some people snatch up what they want right away and refuse to let it go, some need time to think about it, and still others run away in search of something better -- only to find that they just keep coming back to the same place.
For me, it was easy. Once everything lined up, I snatched up Lu and my dress(es) and have no plans on looking back.
Back to my wedding dress lessons: There are a lot of similarities between the process of finding "the one" in a wedding gown and finding "the one" in a man.
1) Style/Type: The search typically starts with looking for certain physical qualities. Be it a ball gown, a mermaid dress, or a class a-line, every bride is looking for a certain style of dress... as well as a certain type of man. You know, the checklist qualities, "He should be this height, this build, with that type of education, and this type of job...."
Also like the dress, many women -- whether on their own or prodded by well-meaning family and friends -- will try on many dresses and interact with many men who are different. Sometimes, they end up with what they were looking for and other times, something they hadn't even considered will end up being a better option.
2) Chemistry: You have to have that gut feeling that this is it. At a certain age, most women begin to think that butterflies don't exist or that butterflies won't help them find a good man. You can have a great guy, but if the chemistry isn't there, there's no point in pursuing it. You will regret the relationship and waste your time. It's the same thing with the dress, you have to feel beautiful. I don't care if it's the right designer, the right price, and your mom has tears in her eyes -- if you don't like it, then you never will.
Granted, sometimes you'll have chemistry with a man who's no good or a dress that could be the down payment on you future home. That's why you have to look at other characteristics, such as...
3) Fit: The most basic criteria, and the one that is commonly overlooked in the beginning. If a dress doesn't fit your body or a man doesn't fit your lifestyle, then you either have to give it up or be prepared to work to make it work. You may have to spend hours in the gym (or chatting on the phone and computer), hundreds of dollars in alterations (or cross-county flights), or sacrifice something else (the cake of your dreams or living in a certain city) to make things manageable. For some, the results are worth it. For most, it's just a lot easier to find something else.
In an ideal situation, there's a compromise. One of Lu's best qualities is that he's versatile. In high school, I was a cheerleader, and I got straight As. I was a fierce competitor in both mock trial and at step team competitions. I was in the National Honor Society, cooking club, and I also dabbled a bit in theater, track, and tennis. Basically, I never really fit into a box. I was more interested in sampling a bunch of different activities than upholding one stereotype. I wasn't a jock, a nerd, a theater geek.... I was just me, and I found someone who was just as wonderfully undefinable.
Unfortunately, the dress wasn't so versatile. As beautiful as my dress is, Lu and I have decided to swing dance during our reception. We've been taking lessons, and I needed a dress that's a little shorter to show off my fancy footwork and my fun shoes. Sooo, I'll be doing a costume change and slipping into a dress like this for the reception:
Still white, still elegant, still vintage, and actually quite similar to my ceremony dress (nope, still not posting pics of that one), but so much easier to move in!4) Comfort: After you tackle any issues dealing with fit, there's the realization that this dress or this relationship isn't just a snapshot in time. Take my dress for example, after wearing it for 5-10 minutes in the store (I didn't want to take it off), I realized that I wasn't fully exhaling. Even though it was a great fit initially, it wouldn't be completely comfortable until I lost a few pounds or an inch from my waist.
To be totally honest, my relationship with Lu had that same semi-suffocating effect in the beginning. Once we were officially together, we were always together, or video-chatting, or talking on the phone. To go from totally single to attached at the hip made me question how comfortable I was with a relationship.
The chemistry was amazing, the fit was great, but there were some adjustments that had to be made for us to work in the long-run. For Lu, we've learned how to give each other space. For my dress, I've been pushing it a bit harder in the gym!
5) Approval: Once you're totally enamored with a man (or have spent 5 minutes doing a silent, happy dance in the dressing room), you have to face reality: your family and friends. Approval is tough because you want others to be as excited as you are. Usually there's a combination of excitement, skepticism, or sometimes outright criticism that comes with the approval process. Since you never know how others are going to react, then this can be a bit daunting.
However, the first time I brought both Lu and my dress home, they were both an immediate hit.
.... And now we come to decision time. Everyone reacts to making that final commitment a bit differently. Some people snatch up what they want right away and refuse to let it go, some need time to think about it, and still others run away in search of something better -- only to find that they just keep coming back to the same place.
For me, it was easy. Once everything lined up, I snatched up Lu and my dress(es) and have no plans on looking back.
I am sure you will make the right choice that suits you! It is your day and really, if no one else approves, the important thing is that you are happy!
Exactly! Another similarity between the man and the dress. :-)
I love how you explained finding the dream dress as compared to finding the dream man. The comparisons were right on target. Loved it!