www.tips-fb.com ~* Ash *~
Over the last few weeks, I've had some friends send me an article entitled, "36 Things Every Single Girl Must Do Before She Settles Down" by Erin Meanley, a blogger for Glamour. Their next question is something like, "Soo, have you checked everything off??"

I'm proud to say that I've done 33/36 things.

Nonetheless, what truly makes me happy is not what I've already accomplished, but it's that I've found a man that encourages me to do everything on the list (except for anything that involves dating someone else, of course) and more.

Being single was great and certain things can only be appreciated when you've already been there and done that alone. However, getting married doesn't have to mean settling down.

The word "settling" has such negative connotations that aren't necessarily true. Marriage shouldn't mean sacrificing your goals or limiting your dreams. Marriage is a choice that you make that opens up different doors and opportunities. In fact, if you find the right partner, marriage means that the two of you will lift each other up as you grow together.

Besides my gripe about the word choice in the title, I think the following list, copied directly from Erin's blog that I linked above, is really great for every single woman (whether they're romantically "single" or not) to check out:

To Build Your Confidence...

1. Go to a movie alone.

2. Lift weights. When I bench-press 45 lbs., I feel like the bomb.

3. Try surfing, water-skiing, or some activity you don’t already know how to do. Could be riding a bicycle.

4. Take out the trash, set a mousetrap, do your taxes, build a bookcase.

5. Live alone, or at least move apartments in NYC without the help of family.

6. Train for (and finish) a huge physical test like a half-marathon.

7. Go to a scary doctor’s appointment by yourself. I once dragged myself to a CAT Scan in the dead of winter, all the way over on 1st Ave., post-break-up. I felt like I had balls of steel.

8. Quit your job. It feels so good to take a job and shove it (and not be affecting anyone else’s livelihood).

9. Fly to a foreign country by yourself. I was nervous on my first solo trip to Europe, even though I almost always have to travel alone.

10. Learn to stand up for yourself. (If you’re not naturally assertive, may I recommend moving to New York City? It did wonders for me.)

To Be Able to Look Back and Say “I Had Fun”…

11. Witness something once-in-a-lifetime, like Jokulsarlon, a lake next to a melting glacier in Iceland (see photo).

12. Revel in being able to watch all the reality TV you want. I’m pretty sure no man will be able to stand as much Bravo TV as my roommate Erica.

13. Get drunk during the day, just because you can. Attend Santacon, the convention for santas, or similar.

14. Go on a date with someone who actually makes you nervous.

15. Go out with an older man who takes you somewhere nice and makes you feel like a million bucks.

16. Go out with a guy who makes you laugh ‘til it hurts.


To Get Perspective…

17. Be a good wingwoman. It’s not always about you.

18. Chill with your widowed and single grandma. She knows “alone”!

19. Volunteer.


To Make You Appreciate the Next Guy…

20. Do at least one Valentine’s Day alone.

21. Attend a wedding (or 15) alone.

22. Date the creeps. You’ll really value the nice guys afterward.


To Make You Feel Sexy and Attractive…

23. Buy yourself some flowers.

24. Invest in a LBD (little black dress) and some sexy stilettos.

25. Sit at a bar by yourself and drink a martini. Cool.

26. Buy something frivolous and expensive that you LOVE wearing.


To Make the Most of Your Free Time…

27. Finish all your schooling if you can. Not that it was ever my goal to go to grad school, but I did, and it would’ve been tough dragging a guy up to isolated New Hampshire and making him sit there in the cold for two years while I studied (and partied).

28. Throw yourself into something time-consuming, like learning a foreign language. You may not have time to do this again until you retire and the kids are off to college.


To Make Yourself a Better Partner in the Future…

29. Make a list of all your faults.

30. Learn to cook well. I’m still working on this.

31. Get some hobbies. Something’s gotta keep you occupied—plus it’ll make you seem interesting.

32. Let your married friends edit your online dating profile. My dear friend Cheryl has caught a few doozies.

33. Get your finances in order.


To Appreciate Being Single…

34. Babysit someone’s baby for an hour.

35. Help a friend through her divorce or a bad break-up.

36. Host a girls-only night. I think some coupled-up women forget how much we need each other.


My exceptions are:

-- I have not purchased something expensive and frivolous that I love wearing, but I am the QUEEN of the clearance sale. If I get something expensive and frivolous, it's also 75% off. (#26)

-- I have not finished all my schooling, but I'm getting a PhD. I think I can get an exception to that one. (#27)

-- I have not let my married friends edit my online dating profile. Mostly because I didn't have any close, married friends in Ann Arbor while I was dating... and because I only had an eHarmony profile during one of those "free communication" weekends. (#32)

Other than that, the only things that I can think of adding to this list are that every single woman should:

37) Cut off your cell phone, unplug you laptop, and enjoy a day (or weekend) totally alone.

38) Learn to love and appreciate your body and overall appearance.

39) Grow/Nurture something -- flowers, herbs, a pet (even goldfish count).

40) Get over all of your exes.


Labels: | edit post
3 Responses
  1. Oneida Says:

    I love your what you added to the list.


  2. Maria L. Says:

    Love that and add to the list cook a gourmet dinner for one :)


  3. Portia Says:

    I think that this list is great. I think that some of the items on Essence Magazine's "20 Things That Black Women Should Do" (May or June edition) could be put on here too! I love this blog.