-- Aunts, Uncles, First Cousins: 80

-- First Cousins' Kids: 20

-- Mutual Friends/Family Friends: 30

-- Other Influential People in Our Lives: 20

This gave us a total of 150 people. Perfect!... Or so we thought. Looking at the list again, we realized there were a handful of people who came to mind later that fit in one of the aforementioned categories -- no problem, 160 guests.

Then our parents brought up people who they thought should be included. While their initial suggestions were fine, we ran into "if we include x, then we have to include y (x's sister, brother, children)." So our list grew to 180.

Then Lu's mother added in some people that probably won't come but would be offended if they didn't get invitations.... 190.

Since the list was becoming significantly skewed to Lu's side, I thought it would only be fair for me to add some people from my side that I'd previously excluded... 200.

Then Lu and I realized that the list was dominated by a lot of our older friends and relatives, and we really wanted to have some more of our friends there, too....

Final total: 212.

There aren't many places that will accommodate more than 200 guests -- much less places that we can afford. While we're pretty sure that not everyone we invite will come, I don't want to go with a smaller place and have a mini-anxiety attack with every "Yes" RSVP that comes in.

The solution is simple: Cut the list back down. However, it's a lot easier to add people than to cut people off, and it's seemingly impossible to get even close to our original 150 guests.

Supposedly, the wedding is our day, and we should do what we want. This sounds great in theory, but we know that we'll have to deal with the backlash of people who are offended -- or worse -- truly hurt that we didn't invite them to our wedding. My obscure cousin who I see once every five years may put up a fuss, but should he take the place of my "breakfast buddy" from work just because he's family and I know she'll understand?

In an ideal world, we would have the space and money to invite everyone that we wanted to come, as well as those who think they deserve to come.... Then again, we would spend our entire wedding reception having shallow, 1-minute, "thank you for coming" conversations with each of our 250+ guests. We wouldn't enjoy ourselves, and there'd inevitably be that person who says, "I came all the way here, got them a gift, and all they did was speak to me and move on. That's not right!"

There's a saying that weddings and funerals bring out the best and worst in people. Well, I thought of five more ways that weddings and funerals are alike and three ways that funerals are less stressful than weddings. (Disclaimer: I know that this is going to upset some people, but please keep in mind that I'm not trying to take away from the gravity of losing a loved one.)

To close my guest list rant:

1) Everyone wants to come. The morbid part of me has always wanted to have a "mock" funeral for myself just to see who would show up -- Would I know everyone's name? Would I even recognize some of them?!

2) Family always has priority. Think about how people are seated at funerals: all of the family is in the first few rows -- even if they couldn't pick the deceased out of a line-up, while the best friends are somewhere in the back.

3) They both cost more than my first car. The average funeral costs $10,000. The average wedding costs $27,000.

4) Somebody always gets offended that they "didn't know" about the event. I always think it's ironic (and hilarious) when people say, "You got married/Such-and-such died last year and you couldn't even pick up a phone to tell me?! We're so close!" Hmmm, well if I haven't talked to you in a year, then maybe you should rethink how close we are.

5) People are upset if they don't get a meal. I've actually heard people complain if there's not a repast after a funeral, or if a couple can only afford to do hors d'oeuvres and dessert. In the former case, please excuse the bereaved family for not being considerate enough to give you some cold cuts and potato salad. In the latter, these are the people who shouldn't be on the guest list in the first place... and if they weren't, then there could have been better food for everyone else.

1) The worst has already happened. It's not a crisis if the caterer brings meatballs instead of chicken wings, or the florist forgot that you requested "no roses." People actually care more about the actual event than the details of the day.

2) You don't have to spend months planning. While it can be painful and stressful to plan for a funeral, almost everything is done in a week.

3) There's no guest list! Enough said.