Wedding porn is not only a total waste of money, but it can also involve wasting something even more precious: time.
Since we've been wedding planning, I've learned about so many rules and traditions. Many of them are worth following but some are just plain ridiculous. Although this is the "way weddings have always been done," I can't help but wonder how different things would have been if Emily Post had the internet -- or even a computer!
Don't get me wrong, some etiquette rules are worth following: having an engagement party with family and friends, asking attendants to help with planning, sending out invitations two months in advance, thanking everyone after.
On the other hand, we're tossing others totally out the window: having "sides" for the bride and groom, the bride's parents paying for everything, the bride wearing white unless she's "tainted" (wonder what Ms. Post would say about my colorful shoes), and publishing our engagement in the newspaper -- umm, the paper in Maryland, South Carolina, or Michigan?!
Then some are kinda weird rules that we're not quite sure how to handle. These are the solutions that we've come up with so far. Let me know if you think we've gone too far in bending the rules:
Handwritten Envelopes
The Rule: We're sending out invitations this week. (WOW!!!) We're supposed to write the names and addresses on the envelopes by hand. However, Lu and I have horrible handwriting, as do our friends. We could hire a calligrapher, but they START at $4/envelope. No thanks.
Our Bend: We're printing names directly on each envelope in a pretty font. Not as personal as handwriting each, but more formal than printing out envelope labels. Most importantly, the envelopes will be legible.
Registries
The Rule: You should register for items to give guests suggestions of what you want and need. However, it's inappropriate to even expect gifts, and never (ever) ask for cash.
Our Bend: Let's be real: even having a registry suggests that you're expecting gifts! The vast majority of guests bring gifts to bridal showers and give cash/checks at weddings, and people want to give you things that you need and want. Since Jeremy and I have two of everything, we're selling our stuff and registering for upgrades on household items, some cutesy items and personalized things, and stuff that we probably wouldn't buy for ourselves.
We also have a honeymoon registry where people can contribute cash to activities for trip to Costa Rica. (Yes, we decided! More details soon!!) Some larger resorts like Sandals have it set up so that guests can buy you a "private dinner on the beach" or a "ziplining tour." Despite the fancy activities, in the end, most honeymoon registries still give you cash or a resort credit... which is why this is frowned upon by etiquette gurus. My opinion is that if a guest gives you a check at the wedding that you use toward the honeymoon, you might as well have something set up where they can contribute directly.
Receiving Line
The Rule: You're supposed to have a receiving line at the reception with the bride and groom, parents, and entire wedding party, except for children.
Our Bend: We're still up in the air with this one. We definitely want to make an "entrance" at our reception, but having a receiving line at the church after the ceremony can take up tons of time -- usually longer than the ceremony. The alternative would be to thank guests at each table, but then we'll get stopped taking pictures and chatting. (Lu and I love to talk!)
We'll have to think about this one some more....
Handwritten Envelopes
The Rule: We're sending out invitations this week. (WOW!!!) We're supposed to write the names and addresses on the envelopes by hand. However, Lu and I have horrible handwriting, as do our friends. We could hire a calligrapher, but they START at $4/envelope. No thanks.
Our Bend: We're printing names directly on each envelope in a pretty font. Not as personal as handwriting each, but more formal than printing out envelope labels. Most importantly, the envelopes will be legible.
Registries
The Rule: You should register for items to give guests suggestions of what you want and need. However, it's inappropriate to even expect gifts, and never (ever) ask for cash.
Our Bend: Let's be real: even having a registry suggests that you're expecting gifts! The vast majority of guests bring gifts to bridal showers and give cash/checks at weddings, and people want to give you things that you need and want. Since Jeremy and I have two of everything, we're selling our stuff and registering for upgrades on household items, some cutesy items and personalized things, and stuff that we probably wouldn't buy for ourselves.
We also have a honeymoon registry where people can contribute cash to activities for trip to Costa Rica. (Yes, we decided! More details soon!!) Some larger resorts like Sandals have it set up so that guests can buy you a "private dinner on the beach" or a "ziplining tour." Despite the fancy activities, in the end, most honeymoon registries still give you cash or a resort credit... which is why this is frowned upon by etiquette gurus. My opinion is that if a guest gives you a check at the wedding that you use toward the honeymoon, you might as well have something set up where they can contribute directly.
Receiving Line
The Rule: You're supposed to have a receiving line at the reception with the bride and groom, parents, and entire wedding party, except for children.
Our Bend: We're still up in the air with this one. We definitely want to make an "entrance" at our reception, but having a receiving line at the church after the ceremony can take up tons of time -- usually longer than the ceremony. The alternative would be to thank guests at each table, but then we'll get stopped taking pictures and chatting. (Lu and I love to talk!)
We'll have to think about this one some more....
