Super excited!! Our unity cross came today! :-)

Background: Many couples use a unity candle in their wedding ceremony. Typically, the unity candle has three parts: a large candle in the center with a thinner, taper candle on each side. The mothers light the smaller candles in the beginning of the ceremony. After the exchange of vows, the bride and groom take the candle of their respective "side" and light the larger candle together to symbolize the union of the two families.


Lu and I are both very family-oriented, and we love the idea of our families coming together.  However, our wedding isn't really about the joining of our families, it's about us.

Now before you roll your eyes and think I'm having a selfish bridezilla moment, it's true. All of our pre-marital counselors -- the senior pastors at the church we attend in Michigan, the wonderful couple that counseled us in Michigan, and the pastor at my home church in Maryland who's officiating the ceremony -- emphasized that our marriage is about the two of us.  Our families don't have to like each other. Heck, our families don't even have to like that we're married!

If God put it in our hearts that Lu and I are meant for each other, than nobody else's opinion matters. We should listen to wise advice and seek guidance when needed; but from the time we exchange our vows, our marriage is about Lu and me. In fact, we've even been cautioned to keep our marriage private. It's not about our parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, or even our future children -- our marriage is based on vows that we exchanged with each other.

Despite all of this, or rather because of it, Lu and I feel truly blessed that our families do get along. I love that I can spend a few weeks in South Carolina and feel at home. Lu is excited to drive to Maryland to hang out with my family. It's not unusual for our mothers to call each other up and chat on the phone.


More importantly, we are so happy that even beyond our parents, our families can interact with each other. When I looked back on the pictures of our engagement party, I can't tell you how much it touched my heart to see both of our families talking and laughing together. We didn't have to force it or coax them together, it just seemed so natural.


Therefore, Lu and I have decided to have a two-part unity ceremony. During the first part, Lu and I will assemble a unity cross. As you'll see in the video below, the cross symbolizes the joining of a man (the bold, solid frame) and a woman (the intricate, supporting piece). We can then display the cross in our home as a reminder of our vows and our strength as a couple.  Bonus: it looks much better than a unity candle, too!



As far as our families, our mothers will light the side candles at the beginning of the wedding as it's traditionally done. After we say our vows and assemble our unity cross, both sets of parents will come up together to light the unity candle for our families.

Logistically, I'm not sure how this will work in terms of timing, music, placement of the cross and candle, etc. However, I'm looking forward to Lu and I getting to spend a special moment with our parents during the actual ceremony.