Lu assembling our "his" and "hers" desks.

Last week, I gave Lu a "honey do" list. Unlike the stereotypical list that never quite gets completed, Lu actually did what I asked:

-- Picked up a few items at the grocery store on his way home.
-- Fixed a drawer in the kitchen.
-- Hung the artwork in the bedroom.

In addition, Lu also walked Maggie, tightened our dining room chairs, and helped me troubleshoot a problem with one of my computer programs. He even suggested that we touch up the paint in our condo and try our hand at putting our own backsplash in the kitchen once we get back for our second vaconference next week. (We're heading to Istanbul in six days! Hawaii pictures are here.) I love this man. 

One picture of us on Waikiki Beach

However, to be honest, I could do all of this myself. Both of us have lived alone. Lu can cook and clean just as well as I can paint and patch nail holes in the wall. In fact, my father taught me how to build picnic tables and reface kitchen cabinets when I was in middle school.

Although we don't always stick to traditional gender roles in our marriage, it's nice to know that I have a man who can do... well, "manly" things. During my days of dating, I clearly remember putting strikes against men like:


I quickly learned that sometimes chisel doesn't mean shizzle.


2) Mr. Toolbox-less: I'd dated this guy off and on for a few years, and he wanted some help decorating his first "real" apartment. After getting a few basics -- picture frames, candles, an interesting coffee table book, a throw for the sofa, and wall art -- we went back to his place to get to work.

When it came to putting up the art, he said, "Aww, man. We forgot to get those 3M pads to hang stuff up."

"We can just do it the old-fashioned way with a hammer and some nails," I said... and was greeted by silence. "Um, if you're worried about holes in the walls, they're really easy to patch. You can even use toothpaste."

"No, it's not that. I just haven't unpacked my toolbox," he said and looked off to the side. "Okay, well. I don't actually own a toolbox."

"Wait, you don't even have a hammer... or a screwdriver?"

"Nah, I didn't think I'd need that stuff."

That stuff?? Who doesn't own a toolbox?! On my first shopping trip for my dorm when I was 17, I got a five-piece, hot pink tool set at Walmart for $7.99!! Side note: Lu owns a power drill. ;)

3) Mr. Soft Hands: A male friend of Mrs. R.'s invited her to church. Always the match-making queen, she suggested that I tag along. I immediately thought he was cute, and at brunch after, I added funny and intelligent to the list. After he walked us to the car, he gave my friend a hug, stuck out his hand, and said that it was great to meet me and he hoped we'd see each other again soon.


When our hands touched, both of us pulled back almost immediately. I exclaimed, "Wow. Your hands are really soft!"

To which he replied, "Yeah, yours are actually kinda rough."

I slightly narrowed my eyes and said, "I do lift weights, wash dishes, and just wash my hands period."

He matched my look and replied, "Well, that's what manicures and paraffin waxes are for."

"Oh, is that what you do to keep your skin so... supple?"

Another match-making fail for Mrs. R.

4) Mr. Hired Help: Again, another great guy with another major flaw. This guy decided that he had worked hard enough in his teenage years and was not going to lift another finger to do anything around the house as soon as he "made it."

Lu's dad showing him how to change our light fixture.

"C'mon. Never?"

"Never.... No cutting the grass, no painting, no tinkering with the car, no nothing."

"So you know how to do all of these things, but you just refuse to?"

"Exactly. I refuse to be a Mr. Fix It."

"What about teaching your kids how to do things? Or building a tree house for them?"

"Nope. My kids will never have to lift a finger. As for me, I'm not even going to plunge a toilet or hang a picture on the wall."

Flashback to Mr. Toolbox-less *shudder*

5) Mr. Lavender Bath Beads: They were his... to use alone... once a week... for aromatherapy... while soaking in his garden tub... and listening to soft music... alone... every Thursday... alone. 'Nuff said.

To be totally clear, I'm not saying that men shouldn't have the occasional manicure or facial, hire people to help around the house, or go to the gym. I just can't deal with the extremes! Lu might not want me divulging this but he loves pedicures and spin class. And you know what? I'm totally fine with that because it's all about balance.

Just as I've seen him doing yoga, I've seen him cutting his grandmother's grass. He's just as comfortable trying a new recipe in the kitchen as he is cutting metal in the machine shop for his lab. Most importantly, even though he wants a big dog, he's content to love Maggie just the way she is.... Although he is a bit rough with her and isn't the biggest fan of her pink leash!