Lu and I have had a stressful week. School has been overwhelming for him and underwhelming for me, which has put both of us in a "what am I doing with my life" funk.

Up until this point, we've alternated our bad moods. When he's not feeling so great, I can calm him down or cheer him up. When I don't have the best attitude, he can make me smile or ignore me until I realize how childish I'm being.


With both of us tired and short-tempered, the last few days were full of bickering, snippy remarks, the cold shoulder, and a few temper tantrums (embarrassing, but true). In the interest of keeping our married life at least semi-private, I'm not going to go into the full details. However, just know that newlywed life was not all blue skies and sunshine.

Sure, we'd had some disagreements before this point. It's usually a case of over/under-sensitivity and being oblivious about crossing "the" line until the damage is done. In this case, the offended expresses their hurt, the offender apologizes, the offended accepts, and we discuss what we both could have done better.

This time, both of us committed two, big marital no-nos: being selfish and stubborn.

We've already acknowledged just how hard it is to live in this world of "we," but the rewards outweigh the hardships.

Somehow, we didn't remember that this time. In our pouting and pot banging, we forgot that a prideful "me" never feels as good as a happy "us."


Thank God we were able to put our differences -- and egos -- aside before any serious damage was done to our marriage. In fact, we both ended up laughing when we made up:

"It's all my fault."

"No, it's my fault." 

"No, really. Blame me. I'm the one who screwed up."

"But I screwed up more. You really needed me to understand where you were coming from this time."

"You needed me. I'm the one that dropped the ball."

And of course, we were able to enjoy one of the parts of marriage that I totally underestimated: makeup lovin' followed by freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies. Neither made up for our arguing, but what a way to get back on track!